I wanted to write a bit about my transformations within the past year. I know I'm supposed to be going to sleep [about a half hour ago].
I became single last July and as much as it hurt it was something I had to do for myself. The relationship was not healthy for me. And now I am experiencing being single and an adult, which I'd never experienced having been in a relationship since the beginning of college until after graduation.
Forgive me if my blathering is depressing or a bit hard to follow, I spent today traveling from Illinois to Pennsylvania today and it is almost 2am.
Anyhow, back to my original subject. It was something that allowed my self confidence [what tiny bit was still fluttering in my chest] to blossom. I ran around and did things I wanted to do, after almost four years of doing mostly what he wanted to do. I pursued interests I didn't feel I could pursue in the past. I made new friends and flirted and almost dated. I felt wanted, desirable, happy. [I'm seeing a lot of I's in this post ad feeling a bit self centred but...I will ignore it, it is my blog of course]
So I attended pirate festivals and renaissance faires. I got a job working on a pirate ship, then I made the decision to pursue something I'd always wanted to do, work at a renaissance faire. I started to do 'research' and talk to people. I never used to be able to just randomly talk to people. I loosened up as well. I became a bit more spontaneous. I drove for a weekend with a friend to Gainesville for the faire and to ask around if anyone was hiring for the Tampa show which started in a couple weeks. I bumped into Ande & Brian on SuperBowl Sunday and they needed a girl for Tampa. "Are you comfortable showing your belly?" Ande took me by surprise. I've never worn bikinis, always one pieces or tankinis. I stuttered but she saw potential in me and my new self confidence said maybe, I could try it.
Two weeks later saw me in a bellydance outfit showing off my belly and not once did I use my arms to cover it up! That would never have happened at any other point in my life. It was exhilarating and I was working at a renaissance faire, I was bouncing with excitement! Then, day two of working for Ande she turns to me and asks if I want to go on the road, full-time. My dream! Acquiring a job in Tampa was research to see if going on the road was a viable option, if I could make enough money to survive, if I wanted to actually do it. YES! Yes! And hells yes! And now I find myself on the road and loving it so much more than I even thought I would.
In the past three weeks I've slept/lived in six different states, an average of two a week! Connecticut, flew to Arizona, flew to New Jersey, drove to Illinois, drove to Wisconsin, drove to Pennsylvania. October will see me in Texas, December in Louisiana then Florida, and even a guest appearance working at my alma mater in the Spring! I am exhausted but oh so happy tonight! <3